the intrigue was killing me '98.

i was working at walmart at that time and everything seemed perfect. i was making money and obeying my parents. i was riding around in my dad's new BMW and i felt sooo fresh. the year was behind me and all the things i had done were slowly fading away. i had ranaway to california and back. i had slept with a guy who gave me a horrible but curable std. and now i'm here.

i met a guy through one of my cousins and we immediately hit it off. he was younger then me, 15 at that time but i was okay with it. besides i had just been sexually with a 36 year old man the year previous. so why not try something totally opposite.

he was kind, young and full of energy. we spent alot of time with eachother.

one day i hooked school and called my cousin to see what she was up to. she said nothing and i asked her if i could come by and we could spend the day together. but really i needed an excuse to hook school. i had already missed enough school so i guess doing this somehow made me feel better. we made up a lie even before i started getting ready to go out there. the lie was that she needed me to give her a ride to the hospital because her daughter was not feeling good. so there the pack was made.

i picked up my guy and then drove to pick up my cousin and her baby. we drove all around boston. so much so that to this day if i drive tooo much around boston, i'll get a headache.

after we dropped off my cousin maybe around 8p.m. i headed toward his place and we talked in the car. and made out. we lost track of time and soon enough it was a little past 10p.m. the time i usually leave work to head home. i got on the highway and drove as fast as i could. i know, i just learned how to drive on the highway some hours ago.

i got home and my parents were waiting on me to get home. at first i felt like i had gotten away with it, until my father asked me if i was at work. what a funny question i thought. i said yes of course. he said well we asked your manager if you were there and he said you called out. i was busted. big time. we argued back and forth. and finally i decided to leave. i decided to runaway. i packed my school bag with some stuff and started out the door.

i felt so unwanted and not realizing what i was doing to my family. i left and right behind was my dad. i knew he couldn't let me leave. i knew he would calm my mother down. i just knew...

he asked me if i needed a ride to the bus stop.

i said no. i walked towards main street to catch the bat bus. a stranger walked up to me and asked if i had missed the commuter rail. i said no i'm trying to catch the bat bus. he then said well ur about to be late, can i help you with ur bag. before i could say anything he grabbed my bag and we ran up to the bus stop. just in time to catch it. i said goodbye and never say him again.

i got to the guy's house and his parents were bugging about me having to stay there. i had to leave. so i went to my aunt's house and spent the night. i woke up early because she had said the night before that i couldn't stay there long. i took the T and went back over to that guy's house. we spent the day together and i just knew i had to go somewhere else. i went to my other aunt's house in brockton and she said the same thing. i couldn't stay there long. so left and hit the streets. i got to a phone booth and dialed my ex and tried to see if i could stay with him. his brother said i could come over. so i took another bus over to the south side. it was obvious that his older brother liked me. we sat in my ex's room and he tried hard to get me naked and to fuck. i denied him and made up a lie that i was pregnant. he surprised me by saying well i can take care of u. magical words. i almost fell for it when my ex interrupted. and i ran out of the house. i went to the fone booth and called everyone who i could think of. one person answered. Kenny, my best friend in high school. i told him the same lie and he knew it was a lie. but he got his dad to come and pick me up. as i stood there and waited to be rescued a guy drove by and started beeping, thinking i was a whore. i was sooo scared.

he came back again and started yelling at me. wanting to know how much i was. the third time he came around he stopped the car and got out. he was wearing fatigues and no shirt. he walked towards me and asked me who i was. and why i was standing out here. he then said he had something to show me. it was like i knew. and turned around as if he was a big ball of flames and the light was blinding. he then started yelling at me. wanting me to look at his exposed self. i started crying. then he hurriedly got into his car and left. i couldn't control my crying and wanted so much to be home. safe.

kenny's dad pulled up and i got into the car. we drove to the south side and stepped out of the car. their house was much like mine but more ranch style then anything else. i remember smelling the inside of the house. it smelled like rice and beans and carne asada. kenny is colombian and guatamalian. his mom introduced herself and fixed me a plate to eat. she obviously knew i was in some trouble. also she was feeding off of the lie kenny told them. they were extremely religious and knew it was wrong to banish a child for being pregnant, rather they didn't want me to abort it. his mom set up a cot in kenny's little brother's room. where i fell asleep to the sounds of cartoons. i had all my clothes on. even my sneakers.

i heard someone in the hall way. his voice was stagnant in the house and didn't echo. it was soothing. and i knew that was kenny's older brother. he sounded nice. but back asleep i fell.

then i felt tugging on my clothes. it was kenny. he whispered me to be quiet. he was slow with every movement. he unbuckled my suspenders and took off my sneakers. he layed me down and kissed my lips like as if he had always done it before. i jumped up to catch his lips before his was done. and wanted to bury myself in him. i slept so soundly that night. until the morning when i had to go back home.