love is...

i am so like a butterfly. i wonder everyday what could have been but really i need to wonder just why. why am i always wondering why, when i am here in essence. i am here in today not tomorrow. i went out with a friend and just wanted to make him smile just slightly so that i can feel i am being used. for the better. he told me that if we stay friends then one day i might want him more...hahaha i laughed. i laughed so loud he became self concious. concious i am. enough to know that i don't take steps backward only forward. forward i walk so don't worry. my hands won't wonder across your body. i will smile and make bright movements with my eyes. i dash across you like a scared lint ball. attached to you i was until i was rolled away sticky to another world. open to another world to another life i stay and will stay with your thought. it was just funny that this friend had the nerve to step to me in a way that was hilarious to me...HA! i thought of past people, past emotions and past doings. except for this one person i keep seeing in my mind. i remember his smell and his whole ora. it's scary and yet exciting to see him once again. sticky fingers huh. i have so much to tell you, i just don't wanna freeze.

i wanna say you will always be in my memory. a story of you i will tell my granddaughters. i story of falling so hard and always remember his urban vibe. his passion for his people. his african cool blue soul and red egyptian sand hands. easy.

damn aint it funny how one person could just make your whole world just...pause.

fist to my mouth, i pause.

hand to my chin, i breathe.

head tilted sideways, i see.

i was told today by a co-worker that i am PEACE.